At Dapper Diary, we’ve seen fashion trends come and go. We all remember when “softbois” roamed Instagram feeds, clutching Sylvia Plath and sepia-toned film cameras like they were rare Pokémon cards! Well, 2025 decided to resurrect that archetype. Just sprinkle them with TikTok irony and tote bags, and boom: we have the performative male trend. You might have a performative male lurking around you, too, and we all know we hate them. You can spot them from a mile away! They are dressed in baggy shorts or wide-leg jeans and graphic tees. Performative males order matcha lattes, get niche tote bags, buy labubus, and have any random feminist lit “casually” sticking out of the back pocket. They think this is the best way to get laid, but we know the truth!
The style formula to dress as a performative male is painfully precise. They wear oversized denim shorts or slouchy trousers, a tight tee under a thrift-core flannel, loafers with white socks pulled high, plus rings, silver chains, and maybe a sad little Labubu plushie dangling from their tote. All you need to complete the look is to add wired headphones. And voila! You’re basically a walking Ssense mood board designed for the female gaze. Or at least, that’s the pitch. However, we all know that it’s a less “genuine style” and more “human mating call.” Picture a guy on Hinge whose bio reads like a Spotify Wrapped you didn’t ask for. You got Laufey, Clairo, and Patti Smith. He’s signaling, loudly, “I’m sensitive but hot enough to ghost you.” He’s the “nice guy” who’s too good for you. Who does that?
You can scroll TikTok all day long, and it’s basically the Performative Male Contest. Two guys in baggy shorts face off across a chessboard. One drops, “Have you heard the new Laufey album?” with perfect Icelandic pronunciation. The other slams the table like he’s Magnus Carlsen mid-meltdown. Online, such personality types are quite famous, getting over 1.2M likes. However, as they say, we need to touch some grass, and that paints a whole different picture. In another viral gem, a beanie-wearing boy gets chased from his “park territory” by a cooler rival armed with Patti Smith’s Just Kids and a carabiner. This reminds us of two vibrant birds fighting for love.
We all know that women aren’t exactly swooning over this personality archetype. The comment sections of such TikToks are filled with eye-roll emojis and stories like, “Saw a guy at my gym reading The Alchemist between sets.” When one fan tried to impress Clairo with a performative male-style comment about matcha and Labubus, she replied, “Whatever that means.” Now, that’s a reply! So, who are they really performing for? Probably each other. Like peacocks fluffing their feathers, half the fun is in out-peacocking the next guy.
Of course, leave it to San Francisco to turn irony into sport. The Performative Male Contest had guys competing in tote-bag superiority and “best feminist book carried but not read.” The whole content is like a beauty pageant, but for boys who smell like vintage bookstores and oat milk.
At Dapper Diary, we all agree that the performative male trend is more silly than sinister. Sure, it’s parody masquerading as style, but who cares? They’re in on the joke, at least most of them. And if a man finally reads We Should All Be Feminists while sipping his overpriced matcha,who cares! Therefore, the next time you see one, don’t roll your eyes too hard. Just know he’s not actually flirting with you. He’s competing in an unspoken TikTok Olympics of aesthetic self-awareness and being woke. Let him be, he’s already on cloud 9!
We believe in the ever-changing world of fashion trends that make an impact. However, this one is basically like a harmless cosplay. We can call it ironic peacocking, call it millennial dad-core with a feminist bookmark, call it whatever. However, at Dapper Diary, we’re calling it what it is: the most entertaining woke boy-band audition that never ends. Until then, ladies, keep your Labubus close and your tote bags closer!
➥ How do you spot a performative male?
Easy. Look for a guy sipping matcha while reading All About Love by bell hooks, blasting Clairo through wired headphones, and clutching a Labubu plush in his tote bag. The vibe is curated sensitivity, which is heavy on the performance and light on authenticity.
➥ Who are the performative male artists?
They’re not necessarily musicians or painters. It’s more of a cultural archetype. Think of men who turn playlists (Laufey, Patti Smith, Clairo) and book lists (Sally Rooney, Joan Didion) into personality traits. They’re artists in self-branding, not necessarily in talent.
➥ What is the performative male contest?
Picture a parody pageant where guys compete with props like feminist books, indie vinyls, and oat-milk lattes. Yes, this is real, as San Francisco even hosted one. It’s satire turned spectacle, roasting men who cosplay as “woke heartthrobs” for clout.
➥ Why is the performative male trend considered cringe?
Because it’s less about genuine feminism or taste and more about flexing cultural capital. It’s the equivalent of virtue signaling in skinny jeans. They are loud, obvious, and usually aimed at impressing women (who, spoiler alert, aren’t impressed).
➥ Is a performative male harmful or just silly?
Mostly silly. It’s cosplay masquerading as depth. While it can veer into hypocrisy, at its core it’s just another internet-fueled identity trend. What if a few guys actually read their bell hooks books instead of just posing with them? That’s still a net win.
Lena lives for bold fits, viral looks, and saying what everyone’s thinking in a way that resonates. A style-savvy Gen Z queen with a soft spot for streetwear and red carpet drama, Lena only has one rule: “Serve every day like it’s Fashion Week.” Catch her dropping truth bombs, style inspo, and outfit slays at Culture Club and Slay Report!
